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Sunday, July 2, 2017
207. Atok Mak @ Sunday, July 02, 2017

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I've never encountered such a close bed-ridden death event, in a sense that, nobody in our house has such an experience. Atok mak had this event of uneven short breath and within an hour, it was getting worst. Everyone close was in alert, while Imeen, Jehan and me were away for some Raya errands. We received a whatsapp text from Kaklong notifying us that Atok Mak has passed away. I can't say that I was okay with us three being away from her last moment of breath, but to think that we had a meaningful last six months spent with her, I am very contented with that fact alone, Alhamdulillah. And she passed away after so much talks behind, in holy month of Ramadhan! Allah knew best.

Atok mak was the only and last grandparent which has this spot in my wrinkle relationship with elders. Of course, I had a blink in the eyes time spent with atok abah and tokwak, before both leaving for good. But this, with her, was a very special spot. My childhood was fill with her. She was a weird grandma if I might say. We had a complete weird events together, (all those counting the seeds, sleeping in her weird bedroom) but she always make sure to serve us full. Even if she had to dig all those stuff inside the refrigerator. Really, a lonely mother she was, hence Ibu will put us to accompany Atok mak, to help her, to count those weird corn seeds, to feed the hen, to do the homework with her. 

Ibu said, she was an untamed kind of mother when she was younger while Atok abah, her counterpart was a cosy one. I was later understood that, that was the reason she had some sort of kinky relationship with her children. It was reflected during her older age; sometimes I misheard her loud uneasy call to Ibu and Suman; "Yam, yaaam! Yam! Man, Maaaan!" And Ibu and MokTeh will get going to run her errands. But we always knew she was lonely, at her last few days of living. Being a mother is not easy, ain't it? You only wanted the best for everyone. But what people misunderstood gives a deep cut to the heart of the close one.

At the end of the day, I'd realise, really, money couldn't buy you anything, not even a happiness for a mother. Please spare them a time to listen to whatever stuff they would like to be listen to. It was truly a good learning lesson for us, the younger one. 

Last Ramadhan 29th, 1438H at the age of 92, Atok mak has passed away peacefully surrounded by her loved ones. May Allah accepts her deeds, forgives her mishap and mistake, and ease her in her period of Barzarh and beyond. Amin.

And I love you ibu, I will always do.

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