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Wednesday, January 14, 2015
173. The One @ Wednesday, January 14, 2015

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Among four of us the siblings, I am most probably the one that keeps on making my parents worry about. 

The one that they might happened to think of capable to take care of herself well, of Imeen and Jehan well instead opposite things happened. She needs to be taken care more than others. The one that thought she is already big enough to stand without her parents guide, the one who think that she is now twenty-four and strong enough to face the evil side of the world. Yet the one who keeps on coming back home every now and then, to find comfort and share the silent. Yet the one who made her parents cried, the one who acts stupidly like there will be no tomorrow and no bad consequences. The one who keeps herself at one corner and never really opens up to everyone. The one who had her secrets and burdens settle down at the bottom of her heart. The one who is taking wrong decision every now and then. The one who never really grows up. The one who is disappointed with herself. The first one to break into tears alone, when people always thought she is a happy kid. The one whom people never really wanted to understand. 

And the one who carelessly forgetting Allah yet at time likes this, she yearns for His attentions. 

24, why can't you make ayah and ibu less worry about you? When will you finally learned?

What an awful girl I've turned myself into. I really am. 

Edited 21/01/2015:

Another ugly and depressed side of me.


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