Tuesday, September 13, 2016
199. A Complete Change of Life. @ Tuesday, September 13, 2016
I truly am, missing the Haramain, Makkah and Madinah. Surprisingly, it's been almost 6 months since I left my heart in these two holy places. The desire to keep coming back is always on the peak, especially when it comes to the season of Hajj. The tears fall off so easily for the memories of umrah is nothing short but pure happiness. But I get the gist of it; some scholar had the debate about it: what is the point of performing umrah again and again if one's imaan is stagnant? What is the point of repeating umrah and hajj, while the rest of our Muslim's brothers and sisters are in deep state of needy. For a quick reminder - tidak sempurna iman, jika kamu tertidur kekenyangan sedang saudara tetanggamu menangis kelaparan. Never once I want to be selfish in order to gain my personal goal in akhirat. Please remind me if once I ever forget the root I stand for.
So what did I actually gained post-Umrah trip, this time I shall spend a moment of self-check. Did I finally understand every words I utter during my prayers? Did I complete my Quran reading to the extend of understanding the message behind the surah? Did I manage to fast on every Monday and Thursday, for deeds are presented before Allah swt on these two days? Did I perfectly covering my awrah?
The above list struck me well enough - how our iman rises and falls. I dislike how on some day, I will be very motivated to improve myself and in some day, I do not, and completely distracted. I hate (hate is a strong word, and it do the justice in the sentence) how in some day, I want to wear a fall down covering hijab and the very next day, a plain 45 cut hijab will do :( May Allah swt guide us to the straight path, and help us to be strong in our deen. Kerana beristiqomah, itu yang selalunya payah.
The chance of performing an umrah truly brings a different degree of change in my life. Although yes, in some distracted moments, I still found myself watching, reading, listening on something very unlikely bring deeds, I also found myself doing something that brings me closer to Islam. You can actually tell, how much reading I did on Islam, Rasulullah and his companions. Cause reading is easily fall into my forté :) And for some weird reasons, I found myself engaging with Arabic lesson. Learning Arabic is something the old me would never want to be force to do, the old me would find Korean and Japanese languages attractive! Not that I dismiss the importance of learning other things though, coz learning anything for the sake of Allah swt is always a discovery. The next time I do my visit in Haramain (insha'Allah) I want to be able to converse with the local. The next time I do my visit to Haramain, I want to be present as a better slave to Allah swt.
You see, I have been enjoying my new discovery post-Umrah trip, Alhamdulillah. While my life has its own moment of up and down, I would like myself to always remember, to be stead with everything I am doing for the sake of Allah swt and to be thankful for everything I had as per now.
Salam Aidil Adha. :)