Tuesday, February 27, 2018
212. February @ Tuesday, February 27, 2018
The first two months of 2018 truly has offering me with one and a thousand kind of feelings. Too many events concurrently happening, hence I really need to sit down and list it out the feelings they bring into my life.
Kaklong is finally married to the love of her life, Abang Fik on the last 2nd of February. We had a blast, the wedding event was nothing short of happiness (which I hope everyone does feels so) in simplicity. I have so much to write about this, wish someone could bear enough to finish reading it haha. Wedding event in my humble opinion, is always a tiresome one, even for a just pass-by outsider. I am always the outsider, and kaklong being the first daughter, brings us out of the usual context. We are finally THE HOST. Being in a rather complex family, we had quite an argument about this and about that; ayah and ibu are always the back-end parents, with them wishing everything to be much simpler than the most simplest wedding, but Kaklong wants it to be in a dewan! I chuckle at that. Dewan was the final decision, but despite that, it was a simpler dewan event. No renjis, no nonsense and no renjis. And I am happy with that.
"According to the Sociologist Gary Becker, people only get married if it brings more benefits than being single." - Yoon Jiho.
With that being mentioned, I believe that Kaklong has found whatever she wants in a man. Security - for me - dunya and afterlife. So she decided to settle down (I know I sounded very ignorant right now - but who doesn't wants to get married?!) I am 27 and if married means a normal circle of human living, please secure me a place over there. (Aside from being a faithful Muslim - where married is a Sunnah.) Nevertheless, if those matters put aside, marrying a person is an actual promise of two individuals. I need to like him, and easy peasy, (which is not really easy), our value of living, has to be correlates to one another - my value of living, this deserves another long special post - we will after all be in this long trip together, ever after.
The thing is, we will always have a thing inside our heart, a baggage (some might broken) if you might say, waiting for someone who dares enough to love us and to help us unpack. All this weird parable, me - easy going? Not so much. Geez, I admit it, I am that emotionally complicated.
If you already meet the one who helps you unpack, believe me, you are THE LUCKY ONE. Anyhow, as for me, I am still in the midst of searching high and low for that someone. Well, all I have to do is just to find him among all the noises in the world, isn't it? :)
After that big family event, we had an issue of coping with the new family member, it was so awkward and funny! I wonder how many in-laws are getting into trouble for this natural transition? Ayah and Ibu are getting an additional son - they only had Imeen before. And naturally, Jeehan and me are getting an older brother. I never had one - which explains the awkwardness with men. A good close cousin reminding us, "Jaga aurat," which soothing this heart of mine. Indeed, jaga aurat! Get the priority right of understanding your mahram. I never really get a chance to personally chatting with Abang Fik, but seeing his one month effort of getting along with Ayah - watching football match, and accompanying Ayah to surau - he deserves my sister.
I somehow realized that I kind of enjoying the dull life of mine.
"I just want nothing to happen in my life. I want everyday to be the same." - Nam Sehee.
Yes, Sehee-님, living is weird. Se-Hee in his character, is described as a man who only does things that he can take responsibility for, the exact amount of weight that he is able to carry - I somehow sees him in me. He's not hating responsibility, he just never crossed the line he has drawn for himself.
This strikes me truthfully the moment I received an offer letter of employment from a new company I'd attended the interview before. Offer letter - fancy event is ought to happen in my dull life.
Despite the overworked hoo-haas and all those ruckus I've created for the past 4 years, current job taught me priceless value of life - how to believe in one-self. I personally believe that this job of mine, has helped to shape me to become who I am today - the fearless one (homesick, still). I never wished to be parted with warm colleagues and familiar ritual, but changes are always inevitable. But how do I cope with changes, once again, after 4 years? I leave it to Allah, lillahitaala.
Countdown for farewell party, I guess?
3. Because This is Our First. ("BTIOF")
BTIOF is refreshing - it is so realistic it hurts a lot. This drama personally helps me re-shaping my view on the life and marriage matters much better than my earlier thought. Yoon Jiho and Nam Sehee, you are my Kdrama spirits, I am starting to live my life to the fullest everyday, because as you say, everyday is always our first. Of course, quality drama like this deserves it owns draft (and a couple award - Lee Minki and Jung Somin are soooo squishy!) but I am way too preoccupied than to write them..
Anyway, all in all, Jung Somin is so pretty, I aspire to be like her LOL. #girlcrush
My first two months of 2018 are so eventful. How about yours?